My Transgender Life: Making Every Day Thanksgiving

I thought with Thanksgiving coming in two days I thought I would write something that hopefully inspires you to look beyond the parade, the food, the football and what it means to truly be thankful.

Now I admit it is hard to be thankful when you are not living your truth. It has taking me a long time to figure this out... and then some more time to do something about it.

Being grateful; living in gratitude; being thankful; living in thanksgiving, are concepts that come naturally to me. However, it seems to me even when taught to us, many of us struggle with allowing these core values to become part of our being, rather than lofty goals that only others may achieve as we focus on our own personal stories and challenges. Perhaps we may admire those who can live in gratitude, but for some reason we may not be fully inspired enough so that we will also do this. 

I have taken some time to pay attention to those teachers out in the world who have inspired me. I was so resistant for such a long time. I made believe that I had my life together, and fooled a lot of people. Most of all, I now understand how much I was fooling myself.

I used to hear the words, made famous by Joseph Campbell, "Follow your Bliss." It took me a while to really understand what he meant by this. 

I found another clip of him when he was pressed to define bliss once again, and he clearly stated that your bliss is your authenticity. Once I heard that, it totally made sense, and I was ready. Yes, I was scared, but I began to understand it was the only answer for me.

I did a lot of personal growth work. I was newly single. I was struggling with my identity and identities, and still not at peace with my dysphoria, and searching for some answers and direction. One of the authors I read a lot kept repeating a message that also took me some time to let it sink in. She advised all the participants that: "The pit stop in hell is optional."

Wow! We actually have a choice on this. We can live in the past or live with the old stories and beliefs -- or not! It also took me time to get this message and start to live with it too. Even though it has been a few years now I think I am almost there. Now, I freely admit I am not sure if I will ever get fully there but I do now know it is my choice, and being a victim of the universe is not something I choose to be.

I realize that throughout my life there have been many teachers available to me. Some did not even know they were teaching me something, and from many I did not even know I was being taught. Every now and again, a memory lights up a corner of my brain and I catch a glimpse of some lesson that has been stored away for me to find -- to remember -- and with fresh eyes, I see it with both astonishment and now a willingness to acknowledge the lesson it is and has been, as it patiently waited for me to come along for it.

This is how I have finally really grasped the idea  about gratitude, and thanksgiving as more than just words but as a feeling that touches all of my mind, body and spirit. I am glad that I have now reached that point in my life. I have no regrets that it took so long. After all, isn't dwelling in regret just spending time in that pit stop I mentioned earlier?

For many people, reaching the age of 56 means a time to relax, a time to think about retiring. For me it is the time to start living as my true self. That was just four short years ago that I started my journey and my life is so very different now. I know I am one of the very lucky one's who has lost only a few people I took this journey to live my truth. There is not a single day that I do not appreciate this. I am in gratitude and full of thanksgiving each day. I regret nothing and look forward to all the lessons that still may be trapped inside of me, and the new ones being offered everywhere I turn. I am so grateful to have this life I am having -- each and every minute of it. To me, every day is one of thanksgiving.

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