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To Pass or Not To Pass ? At one point in my life I was a man on the outside trying to figure out the woman on the inside. But I was too young then. Now, here I am still a bit naïve, isolated, not a clue in the world, and multiple suicide attempts later. Within the transgender community we generally speaking perceive passing as a goal (MtF or FtM) for many reasons, including self-satisfaction, societal security, and an ability to shed, for a time, the "trans" label that we wear. Yet, many of the assumptions made about assimilating towards 'cishood' are predicated on the notion that assimilation is an end goal worthy of obtaining. While it would be easy to say that suddenly the world turned and accepted me, the reality is that passing or not I was and am treated very much the same as I was before. So, my short answer is that while assimilation or passing, is something worth having, a more nuanced answer would be that how we societally construct and demark our gender is ...

  A Day in the Life of Just an Ordinary Trans Woman Although nearing the end of my own transition and consequently sinking into blessed inconspicuousness, the experience of living an average life while transitioning is still a raw one. Another day in my life as an ordinary middle aged transgender woman typically begins early, with itchy boobs and the remnants of a beard, annoyingly unhindered by estrogen, that i have to shave away. That early morning mirror is a cruel one and while Snow White's stepmom is unworriedly dabbing the anti-wrinkle cream, we're trying to summon the energy to face a day of public scrutiny. Make-up to apply. Too little and masculine features break through and people will stare, too much and my face will look like a drag-queen and people will stare. That said, they'll stare anyway. Stare. Stare. Stare. The surveillance society is here, believe me. Getting rid of those masculine features takes time. Hormones and time. So the average transitioning tran...

Ignore the Noise Since coming out as transgender later in life it has been extremely hard on many levels. However , recently I am lucky and fortunate enough to work with some really smart people and affirming people. I have noticed through discussions and their leadership that certain pattern or steps and behaviors that these high incredible performing people seem to follow.  Whether these steps are intentional unintentional, it’s allowed me the opportunity to create what I refer to as    “Ignore the Noise”.   On your transgender road to you will likely encounter a lot of distractions. Most of these distractions are there to derail you from your goals or at the very least cause you to focus your energy and attention on the wrong things.   Let’s start with the most obvious- our smart phones and technical gadgets. We know that tech companies have created software designed to tap into our basic human needs for stimulation. All the binging and buzzing, scrolling and...

God Made Me Transgender, and God Does Not Make Mistakes It is always a tragedy when anybody takes their own life, doubly so when they are so young. Leelah Alcorn took her own life. In her note, she mentioned various reasons for her course of actions, from not thinking she would be able to pass as female to the lack of acceptance from her family. In her suicide letter, she stated that she had come out to her mother, and her mom’s response was that “God doesn’t make mistakes.” God doesn’t make mistakes. Out of the whole situation, which leaves a lot to digest, this one statement has been rattling around my brain ever since the public outcry to end conversion therapy began. This statement is at the core of why so many right winged, conservative Christians are at odds with the transgender community. There is a view amongst some Christians that being transgender is an affront to God’s design and an outward sign of rebellion. The purported argument goes if you were born male that is the way ...