How am I meant to feel at 56?

How am I meant to feel to now be at 56?  In fact, tomorrow is my birthday, so perhaps I ought to figure this 56 year old stuff out before too long.  Being 56 years old is a curious thing and again I’m still trying to work out what it means.

My daughter, who is now 13 years old, thinks of me as being old.  (Kai’s pronouns are they/them so you will see me use they/them throughout this post. Yes, it can be confusing. However, I respect them too much to not address them how they want to be addressed)  Lately, from time to time they will look for grey hairs to prove their point, not that I have many grey hairs.  Also, they are at the very start of their secondary education journey and figuring out their direction in life, thoughts of being at the other end must seem like a million years away.

They aren’t sure whether I am a wise and old who considers things carefully before saying anything, or someone who is still heading there.  Almost certainly they think of me as being so old I can’t relate to being their age when they make comments about “you wouldn’t understand” when I ask them about their life.

They like to point out “nobody had a computer in olden days”, so how would I be able to master the "intricacies of social media etiquette or the language that goes with it".  Don't even get me started on what the world was like before the Internet.

We have had debates about whether I’ll go completely grey or not, as this is definitely a sign of getting on a bit.  They are very much aware of me giving them middle aged messages about saving for the future, thinking about putting some money aside in a savings account.  They remember me that when I tell them how I need to have a rest day after a long run this just adds to the being old perception.  I see eyes rolling when I mention something from being their age, back in the last millennium.

So does all this add up to being old?

Nah, it can’t, surely?  I like to think of there being more good times ahead of me.  I have worked bloomin’ hard to be where I am and I’m determined to enjoy life and seek a rewarding retirement someday.  I still like the idea of having some amazing art on my walls, an amazing hi-fi with loud 80's music which is exciting, moving, engaging and memory filled.  Staying fit, perhaps doing a long bike ride, or another marathon or two is something I aspire to.

I like to look on the bright side of most things, things are always looking up for the future.  The best is yet to come, and so on.  That’s me to a tee.  And yet I can’t ignore some of the other signals about being 56 years old.

I thought it might be fun to list some of my physical or mental characteristics, as a kind of personal record on being 56:

  • My hair has been changing since I was about 50, or that’s when I noticed a change.  My hair is receding and thinning out a little each year, but I don’t think I’ll go completely bald.  The color of the hair on my head is unchanged, although it does have a little more honey in thanks to the fabulous Gloria.  I’ve removed all of the body hair I once had.  The joke always I was one step removed from the missing link. My eyebrows grow more these days, occasionally sprouting a long wiry hair which always takes off.  I have also started to notice hair in my nose as well. (Gross, right ?!) 
  • Learning new things is more difficult.  This was brought home to me when I switched jobs in November 2023.  I thought I could have an easier ride through waving my ‘transferrable skill’ ticket.  It was hard going, harder than I expected. But I get it now.
  • My eyesight is definitely changing.  I need reading glasses more and more for anything close to arms length.  When I last had my eyes checked and with the always wonderful Dr. K.  He said he does see an improvement to my distance vision. This I wholeheartedly agree with.  Yet, sometimes even watching TV is more of a strain these days.
  • My weight and BMI are stable. Although I do need to take care on what I eat.  My BMI is 19.9, so I’m in the lower end of the healthy range.  Fourteen years ago I hit my heaviest at 425lbs which, looking back, that was an awful weight.  I do not even recognize that person when people show me pictures. My ideal weight should be at least a good 40 lbs then where I am right now.  But I just cannot get there no matter what I try. 
  • My skin has a few wrinkles and they show up more on my face especially when I’ve caught the sun.  I quite like having a few wrinkles. I like to think it gives me a rugged look (which is certainly not what I feel!).
  • Stress, worry is not something I’m bothered by these days, although I have in the past.  Obviously a major factor is work, apart from that I do feel more relaxed and many people say I seem more easy-going these days.  So that seems a good development.  When I think back at the things I used to worry about, they seemed a really big deal at the time.  And does it now?  No way!
  • My outlook is definitely that of a younger person, or at least that’s what I’d claim.  Some of my tastes in food, art, music, photography and so on might reflect that.  I always think the best is yet to come
  • Current health issues are a reminder of how, arguably, I’m not as young as I like to think I am.  Earlier this year when I was at the doctor office, the awesome Dr. Deidre said my prostate issues are what she expects to see in a 70 year old.  Prostate issues are definitely a sign of age, no matter how much I try to convince myself otherwise.  Most of my internal organs, although heavily damaged from my life in the past, should see me out alright.

So do I feel 56?

Yes, I think I do!


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