The Psychological Scarring of Being Transgender If We Have Another Trump Nation
The Psychological Scarring of Being Transgender If We Have Another Trump Nation
In the classic film "All About Eve," the famous line "Fasten your seatbelts, it's going to be a bumpy night" is spoken by Bette Davis's ... so sit back this is going to be a long post. I will understand if you want to pause and go to the bathroom or get a snack or both. Let's go.
If there is a rock bottom, we have yet to find it. Why? We are still falling.
Transgender and gender diverse Americans have never
had a safe passage in greater society. We had one of two choices: We could
chose to push forward on the only path available to us, riddle with weeds,
thorns and mountainous obstacles in order to simply thrive in spite of the
condition… or, we could be consumed by overwhelming emotions of self defeat,
conditioned self-hatred and slip into a sense of despair few ever fully recover
from. It is that hopelessness that has cost many people on the trans spectrum their
lives.
While it was never easy- not only because of external
hostility toward us and an arrogant unwillingness for society, not only to
adapt to, but reject our existence, we saw a period of time where it got a
little better.
We saw movement and momentum. We saw progress. We saw
more trans+ identifying people stepping out of the shadows unapologetically and
with a brazen confidence. We saw progress and inclusion in legislation that
acknowledged our presence in a world once reserved solely for binary men and
women. We saw that someone with power and influence where it actually mattered
introduce executive orders that protected us from the acts of violence we’d
been subject to for far too long. Did it stop it from happening? No, but we
were provided a voice- an allegiance with a growing number of supporters who
saw us, not as deviants or sinners, but human beings with a right to thrive.
We had taken a step forward. There were suddenly our
and proud trans kids being elected prom king or queen. There were trans people
being introduced to the narrow minds of middle America by means of educational
documentaries and we were allow- even encouraged- to tell our stories.
Communities developed, organizations committed to the task of enhancing our
visibility. The younger generation demonstrated an eagerness to learn and
listen as they found themselves exposed to more transgender people than any generation
had before, and they were largely embraced.
And the 2016 hit us like a wrecking ball. Suddenly, as
if the entire world had turned upside down overnight, we were seeing our new
government shun us. Attempts were made to ban transgender military service men
and and women simply for being trans identified. They were called
“Distractions” by our President. That was followed by the redaction of all
executive orders by the previous government that were intended to protect us
from being victimized by those who held tightly to bigoted world views that excluded
us. We are now more vulnerable than ever.
Then came the introduction of the new Health and Human
Services Religious Freedom and Conscience Division that allows emergency
responders and medical caregivers the right to refuse us medical treatment
without consequence and on the basis of religious or moral objection. We’ve
always been on the end of the sword of religious zealots and hyper
conservatives, but now their hatred and targeted ostracizing has been state
sanctioned.
The rate of Transgender homicides, specifically women
of color, has since spiked, and many states allow a “Trans Panic” defense that
allows a man who murders a transgender woman to pay minimal consequences or
none at all.
Under Project 2025 and a New Order of Trumpism that
favors only white, wealthy, straight cisgender men has had more than just
disastrous impacts on our economy, our diplomatic relationships with allied
nations, our environment agencies, education departments, the free press, freedom
from religious persecution, immigration policies and the concept of truth, but
for the transgender community, it has become psychological warfare.
People in our community are very afraid. Justifiably.
Every day it’s something new. An introduction of a law
that postures Transgender women as Men posing as women to infiltrate bathrooms
with the intention of assaulting little girl and raping the wives of godly men.
We’re painted as sick and twisted monsters by preachers standing beside our own
president at the Value Voters Summit as he applauds with approval.
As the clock ticks backward in time, the iron hands
chip away at our sense of belonging. As we watch all of our work being
systematically undone with the only plausible intention being to harm us, or
expose us to harm, summons up a sense of dread and inevitable foreboding, never
knowing what is coming next. We feel ourselves trembling under a sinister
administration who has made certain to let us know that we, as a people, are on
his radar and will return to the status of “Other.” We will be viewed once more
through the evangelical gaze that has, for centuries, damaged our emotional and
physical well being.
It’s harder to accept this, because we know that is not the way it should be. We believed others, at least those we believed allied with us, felt the same. Then they made this man leader of our Nation, and the usher of our fate. Many of us lost friends, family members, and even saw colleagues who once exhibited casual civility become outright traitors, now spewing rhetoric and hive-mind systems of thought as they staunchly supported the man responsible for our undoing.
How do we process this? It feels like more than a
betrayal. It feel like we were lulled into a sense of security and subsequently
led to the Trumpian Alter for slaughter. There is a famous saying that comes to
mind; “Trying to understand crazy will drive one crazy.” There is no reason, no
rational. We are innocent bystanders guilty of no wrongdoing but being unjustly
persecuted and reduced to subhuman.
The mind that operates with any modicum of logic
cannot navigate this, much less understand it. As a result, so many trans
people have been experiencing increased rates of social anxiety, depression,
even an exacerbated fear of presenting in public as their preferred gender. I
would be reticent if I neglected to mention the transgender people who had, at
some point in the last decade, developed the confidence to walk in their truth,
have turned around and walked back into the closet out of a need to self preserve.
We’re in fight or flight mode, many of us. Some of us are fleeing, and I
understand why.
Pushing back against a radical movement who simply
despises you without any provocation seems like screaming into a vacuum.
They’re not listening. They don’t have to. Even as a result of my posts here,
combative posts about and refer to me as “It.” But, that’s the consequence of
putting my words out there in this chaotic era where there is no accountability
and hatred toward people like me is not just endorsed, but enthusiastically put
on display. I’m old enough to have a thick skin, but I would be negligent to
presume that everyone does.
I could care less about what someone says regarding
me, or their opinion of me. That’s none of my business. I care about my ability
to exist, safely, in a broader society that is changing shape at an alarming
rate. That shape is ugly. We all see it. Bigots had gotten to the point where
they may have maintained their heinous views, but they had for the most part
learned to be more discreet. There were repercussions, after all. Not anymore.
Now they are out in numbers, having parades, campaigning against transgender
people and shouting propaganda to extoll fear and ignorance. It happened at a
Pride Parade in London where a group of Anti-Trans lesbians literally led the
parade. Although uninvited, they were not stopped. Control was handed to them.
Had they been anti-gay protesters, would that have happened? Had they been from
the Westboro Baptist Church, famous for protesting the funerals of LGBT people,
would they have been allowed to lead a march intended to celebrate pride in
ourselves as a diverse spectrum of people? The very thing they hate?
Sure, it feels like we’ve spiraled into a mad, mad
world. A frightening, Orwellian universe. It seems like we’ve been pushed to
the very fringes that those before us wrestled to escape, many to their own
detriment, so that we might come as far as we have, despite having further to
go. Now, we have to somehow wrap our heads around the fact that the ground
seems to be giving way beneath us as we find ourselves in the cross hairs of
Trumpism.
How do we maintain our personal feelings of value,
self worth, or very dignity as it’s all being argued against everywhere from
Mega Churches to Fox News all the way to the Senate floor. Few will know how it
feels to watch politicians run- and win- on promises to eviscerate your basic
human rights.
It takes its toll on the psyche. It wears down the
spirit. It fosters a sense of powerlessness that leave one prone and
emotionally broke. It reeks havoc on our hard earned stability which we covet.
It’s often painful to read the news; To scroll through social media and watch
as Republicans and trolls alike spin up their own fairy tales and mythologies
that portray us as villains over and over again with staggering frequency- they
never sleep. We’re exposed to this, and it’s time we call it what it is.
Abuse.
Repeated behaviors intended solely to thrust us into a
dystopian existence where we must fight daily against an ever strengthening
tide of oppressive ideologues and their relentless, albeit frivolous
accusations and mischaracterization's to support their tyrannical agenda that
has never had any basis in fact.
Facts, in 2018, do not matter anymore. It’s all fake
news. And the design of the double-speak, back tracking then claiming everyone
else is a liar is an architecture of confusion that lends itself to well to
Trump Supporters, whose cult-like mentality despite reality is terrifyingly
real. That is our reality.
We need to say it out loud: This is hard. This is
unnerving. This is difficult to process and we feel subject to destructive
behaviors exhibited by our own government. We have a responsibility to each
other to let it out rather than internalize our fear. Tomorrow’s children, many
who will be just like us, need to know our stories to prevent Trumpism from
every creeping up and taking power ever again.
We are not powerless, despite how some of us may feel.
We may be at the mercy of a diabolical regime, but we are quickly crafting our
vision for the future…
… and that’s where your power lays. This era is not
our future. It is formative. It is tomorrows lesson and we will be the
teachers.